I wear knitwear whenever I can
I'm not ashamed to say it - I'm a 5 cardigan man.
Some days it's too hot, and that's fine and dandy
And In the depths of winter, a jumper's very handy

But on those inbetween days
When the sky is all blues and greys
I'm confused and I'm dazed
I guess what I'm trying to say is...

My jumper makes too much difference
When I take it off, I'm frozen
With it on, it's like a woven oven
My jumper makes too much difference
The warmness of the fabric
Has left me feeling tragic
And I don't know whether to take it off or not.

I've kept it on, just tried to put up with it
But when I went outside, I just didn't feel the benefit
It's on or it's off, there's no room for compromise
I won't try to deceive you, or pull the wool over your eyes

It's on those in-between days
Indecision never pays
In so many ways
I think what I'm trying to say is

My jumper makes too much difference
I wish my sleeves I could chop
To render my jumper an improvised tank top
My jumper makes too much difference
If I were a little older
I'd drape it round my shoulders
But I don't know whether to take it off or not.

I went to the doctors, he said "I can't help you"
So I said "but you're a cardi-ologist", but apparently that's not what they do
When driving one day, my arms, they felt colder.
I knew I had to stop - I needed to pullover.

It was just one of those days
Those "on and off and on" again days
See, I tried it both ways
But I'm still in a malaise

My jumper makes too much difference
My t-shirt rarely matches
And you'd better beware: sweat patches
My jumper makes too much difference
Could the answer to my prayers
Be a series of thin layers?
Because I don't know whether to take it off or not.